3 years later

Just wow. I read a bit what I had written in the previous post which was from roughly 3 years ago. I was depressed and in so much trouble. I feel really sorry for that person I was back then and I thank God I am no longer a) that person and b) in so much trouble. I can't believe I have managed to clear that minefiled of misfortune and come out from the other end as a whole person. I am no longer living on £50 budget per month. I have paid off ALL of my debt. I have a partner I have been living with for nearly 2 years and we have two cute cats. We live in a two bedroom house with a garden and even though my partner is unemployed at the moment, our life is pretty content. We are going on a holiday in 3 weeks to Cyprus and we are staying in a 5 star hotel. And even after this we will have enough money to live a NORMAL life. I don't wish such bad luck to anyone which I went through around 2008-2010 because to be honest I dont think I even gained anything from the bad experiences. I guess if I had to think of some positives from all of it, it made me really push hard to survive. It made me force myself to get high paid positions so I was able to clean all the shit that was thrown at my face. I know I was quite lucky to be able "create a career" in payroll for myself in all the mess but I fell into it like it was meant to be. Sometimes I do believe in destiny. Not sure why "destiny" would want me to be calculating people's salaries but all I know is that it did save my ass and now earns me enough money to live pretty nice life as I have no stupid loans etc to pay off. I wish I could go back to the person I was in those previous posts and tell her that everything will be fine. I remember being so upset and looking up ways how to kill myself. It is still quite upsetting to remember and think about. I think I am still healing from the traumatic experiences I had and it has become a bit of a hassle for me to create new friends. I feel that I need to take care of everything myself or all will fail. My poor boyfriend has unfortunately felt it a few times when I have gotten stressed at having to take care of everything myself because I don;t trust anyone else would be able to take care of it or if I left it to someone else they would just screw me over... Well... I think the whole life is a learning process and only when we die we feel that we know it all (if even then). But long story short, I am fine now. This is how life should be and it will only get better.