Finding a balance

I almost got ran over by car this morning. It was not the fault of the driver, it was 100% my own fault. I was standing at a crossing waiting for the green man to appear but instead I was staring at the lights that was for the cars. I saw the lights turn to yellow and then green and stepped on the road... right in front of the car.
Luckily some self preservation made me jump back but it woke me up a bit.

Having said that... for the past week or two I have been walking with my head somewhere else than on my shoulders. A lot is happening (again) and when I get so much on my plate, I kind of switch on to this autopilot. My autopilot is pretty awesome though. It takes care of everything you can imagine. Like I am moving back to UK in the end of June and I have pretty much everything already sorted.
I have a new house to move to, I have organized the cats via a courier, the moving van has been taken care of, I have organized date and time with my landlord to hand back the keys, I have agreed my final salary with my employer as well as agreed days I will help them out after I have left, I have a budget planned up to July next year to make sure I will survive even though i have just quit my job... Everything is under control. Yet I still walk my head full of worry thinking that there must be something I have forgotten.

I think I am a really bad case of OCD when it comes to making sure life is in order. My house is pretty messy and I am not too fuzzed if food has been out over night (I will still eat it) but if there is mess in my life, I will take extreme steps to fix it.
My rent will never be unpaid or even late. My phone will never be cut off due to unpaid bills and I would rather pull my nails out than be late on my credit card payments. If something needs to be taken care of in 6 months time but I already know about it now, I will do everything in my power to take care of it there and then even if it was way too early.

Ok, so on the surface I guess this is not a bad thing. In fact in many levels this is a good thing. But, with me this sometimes goes to a totally different level of "taking care of everyday things"

SO, I have to keep reminding myself that it is not the end of the world if the shopping is not put away immediately. It is fine if the bed is not made on the weekend. And if I happen to sleep until 10:30 on a day off, it doesn't mean I have slept through great opportunities the life may have brought me if I had woken up at 8...

There are few easy steps to happiness.
1. It is not that serious - I know it can be hard on the mornings when nothing fits and I look at my body from the mirror and feel that I really have let myself grow old, but like they say, Angels can fly because they take themselves so lightly, so maybe I can do too!
And this leads us to...
2. Accept yourself as you are (even the love handles and hair color that messed up twice in a row...). I am so guilty of bringing myself constantly down. I tell myself I am ugly and fat pretty much every day. My hair is always too long or short, all my clothes are ugly and everyone is prettier than me. But do I want to look like a barbie doll? Not really... I love people as they are.
Next time you step in a busy bus or train, look around and think about the people around you. There will probably be someone who is laughing or smiling. Whether it is a fat, skinny, tall or short person, they will look so much better than the grumpy one, regardless if they were a super model or not. Superficial beauty is just that, superficial. Grandmother sleeping in a rocking chair can be as beautiful as a 21 year old super model in a bikini and airbrushed, flawless skin.
3. Forgive. Not just others but yourself. It is fine to make wrong choices and stupid mistakes sometimes. Don't kick yourself for something that happened long time ago. You will feel much better when you stop feeling angry and upset. Same goes for other people. If they do something really unfair to you, you have two choices; you can either stay mad at them and walk to the other side of the road when you see them OR you can forgive them and move on with your life.
4. Think. Feel. Listen. It is really important to sit back and really think about your life sometimes. Turn off the TV and music, close the doors or walk to the park and just sit there and think. At first you will have hard time thinking about anything. Then you will move on to thinking about what to have for dinner and eventually you will be crying of happiness in the rain because you found the meaning of life. Ok maybe it won't go as far as the last bit but very often I find myself from a much better place mentally if I just give my thoughts some time to organize themselves.
5. Don't do things that make you unhappy. This one is self explanatory really but so many people year after year do things that makes them unhappy. They feel they are too old to change or too poor to re-educate themselves. This one as well is one of the things I am guilty of. I am greedy and I work in places that I hate, but I am still learning and maybe one day I will stop thinking about money. One thing I am certain of though: I don't want to one day look back at my life and think that I spent most of my time doing things I didn't want to do.
6. Surround yourself with people you like ... and not with people you want to like you. Don't waste energy on people who are your friends only when the sun is shining. There is nothing wrong with being friendly to them, but share your secrets and big moments with people you love, there is not enough days in your life to share it with absolutely everyone.
7. Have a pet. (just have one)
And then the last (but maybe the most important one):
8. Say "YES" more. When we were kids when someone asked us out we didn't even think about it, we just went. The older we get, the more we get tangled in our lives. If someone asks you out, just for once stop making excuses and go. When you are 80 you don't remember the nights when you went to bed early and had a good night sleep. If you have friends or family living abroad, go visit them (HINT HINT!) when they are there because you will get much more from your trip than if you went to same place and stayed in a hotel. If someone is getting married, GO! - it might never happen again. The list goes on.
I know we are all tired after work, don't have money, don't have time... We prefer to sit on our asses and watch TV or play games rather than spend time outside of our comfort zone. But the thing is... Life happens only when you open the door and take the 1st step. We only have one, don't waste it on your couch (too much - lazy days are good too!).