What if you're right and they're wrong?

So I have been reading a lot about rules of how you should behave online, what you should write and what you should try your best to avoid. Like you should never write anything whiny and negative because no one wants to read it. You shouldn't post self serving facebook updates or brag about your life when things go well etc. The only thing that is acceptable to post is something that is positive and serves a purpose for larger audiences.
*Yawn*
 Why the rules?
I think blogs are important source for people to express themselves. If someone wants to write a blog post of a broken family, PLEASE go ahead! And I bet you, that there will be someone in this world who might one day read it and think that they are going through the same thing and who knows even find a piece of wisdom out of it.
It doesn't have to be perfect, it doesn't have to be witty and full of twists. Just write down what you feel and think.
To be honest, everyone should have their own blog because everyone goes through life differently and everyone can share experiences of the most mundane daily things to someone who hasn't gone through them yet. Or if nothing else, in couple of years time you can read back your life and learn something yourself from the mistakes and successes you had in the past.
 I don't know why everything have to always be about pleasing as many people as possible. Yeah so it is a "public" post but it doesn't mean that it has to be so awesome that million people will share it. Well unless you are trying to make money out of it, then I guess you should at least learn to be witty... But otherwise, do not worry about these things, just write!
And share photos!
   
This is me with my friends Julie and Clara.

And today my lesson (hahah) will be about self confidence and the image you have of yourself.

For the longest of times, basically all my adult life, I have felt that I am socially awkward, that no one REALLY wanted to be my friend. There has been a couple of times that I have had good friends but then for one reason or another I have lost touch with these people.
I felt that people always thought that I am boring and strange, lazy, unattractive - a person that no one wants to see themselves with.
At work I often felt like an outcast because I never felt really committed to the company I work in. I would take shortcuts, arrive late and leave early. Do the bare minimum required to still be able to do my work well. I never did badly, but I always knew that if I actually gave my 100% I could really take over the world.

So there I was, feeling that I am the oddball that people constantly gossiped behind my back; talking about the clothes that never seemed to fit me, the hair that was never straightened and my work that was always just barely enough.
In all honesty, that is probably true. For the past 15 years I have worked in an office and I have learned that the most evil bitches in the world work in the offices. There is this breed of women who will find out everything about you and breath in all your weaknesses like it was required for their well being. Very often they are slim, pretty and have a husband that drives a nice car and has a great job.
HOWEVER, do not for a second think that they are in the right... because they are not.
In my low times I made myself believe that it is the way the people were. I thought that because it was everywhere I went. I didn't have anything in common with these people so there was no reason for me to try to befriend them - so I was alone.
I mean, I had James and occasional "friend" that I exchanged things on facebook with. I had my sister and some "old" friends I would see once a year, but I didn't have any daily people that I would chat with that could have told me that I was right and they were wrong.
Obviously this made me think that I am a weirdo that no one wants to be friends with. I named myself the fat girl, the ugly girl, the lazy girl etc. I was kicking myself down all time when I should have just had one title, and that is "The girl with wrong job and low self esteem".
Now I have two really good friends and I am learning to accept that they are my friends for me and for no other reason. It is really hard.
For some reason I am always thinking that they are just "putting" up with me, until someone better and more interesting comes along.
And THAT is 15 years worth of fake people attached to a woman with low self esteem.
I saw this poster in one of the TV shows I was watching:

The guy in the show turned into a psycho killer so lets not take it THAT far (can even see the blood spatters on the poster), but this is something that we all should keep in mind. The people we are surrounded with, could make us think anything. And if you are not happy with your life/work, you could be a very easy prey to turn into something you really are not.
I still have long way to go to build my self confidence but I will try to keep in mind that there is not just one mold for a human being and you should be proud of who you are, the way you are. If people around you don't accept you, then you need to meet new people.