guys...

I am so frustrated with people. Why can’t people just be open and honest with their feelings and intentions?

Well, I am actually the worst person to criticise that considering I have been leading people on all my life… But I have to say that when it happens to you, it is really annoying and frustrating.

Ok, so I met this nice guy last week. We got on really well and seemed to have a lot in common. I found his stories very interesting and when I left to go home that evening he sent me a message saying he had a great evening and that he was looking forward to seeing me again.

So we met on Saturday, went for a meal and some drinks. He walked me home and well, one thing lead to another and he ended up staying the night. We spent half of the Sunday together as well and we really had a good time (or at least that is what I thought).

When we were saying good byes I suggested that we go see stand up comedy during the week. He thought it was a good idea and we agreed to meet on Wednesday. I jokingly said “if you want to meet me earlier you can” and he got this weird look on his face. I don’t know what it really was but it was a bit like fear or that he was very uncomfortable. He said he couldn’t on Monday because he is going out with friends and Tuesday was his dad’s birthday and that he needed to call his dad… It was very strange, he just said that he wanted to keep Tuesday free for that reason. Tuesday wouldn’t have worked for me anyway – I probably should have told him that – but the way he made it sound like was just very strange for me.

Well… today I sent him a lovey dovey message saying that I am looking forward to seeing him on Wednesday and that we should book the tickets to the comedy he simply responded saying, the tickets are £20, is that ok with you? I wanted to respond and say “you obviously don’t want to see me or you really don’t know how to talk to women”. I am not expecting him to pay for everything but jeez, at least he could have said that he was looking forward to it as well.

I don’t know why I can’t meet a proper guy anymore… a guy that really wants to be with me and who I want to be with as well. Now it seems to be that if I meet a guy that I like the guy is not very interested for very long. I can’t help it but I start to think that there is something wrong with me. Like… I meet guys who want to be with me… they are usually the shy/ugly/boring ones who I really don’t have any interest in. I really want to be with someone nice that I like hanging out with… I am not asking much.

Like this guy… he is ok looking but he certainly is no Greek God. He looks pretty fat without clothes and has hair on his back…
I am not a supermodel and my backside is filled with cellulite but I am a smart, good looking and funny. I am very independent and have my own things that I do in life. Why are these men playing with me!?

Like Matt (yeah I can call him with his name now) – I have not heard from him since he had his revelation. I can’t simply cut people from my life as if they never existed. I wouldn’t want to either…

I don’t know… Maybe it is this country or are the men the same all over the world?

Well, with this new guy I am actually just going to see what happens. I won’t jump into a relationship with him just because we are getting along well. He needs to earn his time with me… my time is important as well. It is just weird… for me, if I like someone I put them first. In here all I have met was guys who put me to a veeery far position from the top. I don’t know… maybe it’s just me… Maybe I am just awesome haha.