My invisible friend

Another thing I want to write about is my friend who I have never met…
So, what to do when you have a really good friend online which you talk every day for hours, play games together and sometimes just keep the line open to keep each other company but you don’t quite feel the same way about each other?

Well, about 2 years ago I made a friend online in a game and ever since we have been talking with each other a lot and basically sharing all the little secrets with each other. At one point I did feel very close in more romantic level as well, but quite quickly brushed those thoughts from my head as I am 30, he is 21, I live in UK, he lives in US, I have a steady job, he works on and off in various fast food restaurants etc. the list could seriously go on and on and I am no longer 18 with pink spectacles on thinking that love has no boundaries etc. I have been through some real turbulence in my love life and the moment trouble raises it’s ugly head I kind of give up and look something else. I am done with taking care of stupid things that just waste my time… it’s time something is done for me. Now… if he was a wealthy, late 20s or early 30s man with some sense of what should be done to marry a woman in another country… then MAYBE, but not 21 year old who can’t even get rent paid…
I don’t mean to talk down about him but that’s a simple raw fact of life and I can’t change it….
He would be better off with some 20-year-old girl from his neighbourhood, I know he would make someone very happy, unfortunately that won’t be me.

But anyway, my dilemma is that I don’t know what to do with him. I need to tell him sooner or later that there will never be a happy ending for me and him, but he doesn’t seem to live in the same reality with me. I have told him not to wait for me and that I wasn’t his girlfriend, but the way he talks about me is as if I was a god.

Don’t get me wrong I actually love him. He is my best friend and I feel this love for him what I would feel towards my little brother. He is amazing person and I hope we will always be good friends… but that’s what I want us to be, friends, not lovers.

AND YET, I have never met this person in real life… Internet is such a weird thing. Weird and wonderful.